


Persona Pals

by Lemonsmoothie



Category: Persona 5
Genre: AU, Based upon an episode of the DuckTales reboot, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, No Beta, Screenplay/Script Format, Sitcom, third semester spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24495433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemonsmoothie/pseuds/Lemonsmoothie
Summary: An AU of the Royal Third Semester, in which Takuto Maruki is a big fan of cheesy 90's sitcoms. Based on the episode of the DuckTales reboot, "Quack Pack." Canon-typical violence mentioned. Risque humor and language.
Kudos: 5





	Persona Pals

_Persona Pals_

A Persona 5 Royal Story by Lemonsmoothie

Rated T for language and risqué humor

Spoilers for the third semester of Persona 5 Royal. You have been forewarned.

Inspired by DuckTales (2017) Season 3, episode 2: “Quack Pack”, written by Bob Snow and directed by Tanner Johnson

Introduction

Hi, everyone! This is my first Persona 5 fic. I’ve been in love with the game since I played circa 2017. I had to get Royal, and I loved it. But I wanted to do a lighthearted, slightly stupid version of the Third Semester. Some of Maruki’s actions as the Palace Ruler were kind of off-putting to me. I guess that was the point, that even good intentions can be distorted, but he kept reminding me of the line from Yeats, “The best lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity.”

I also loved the DuckTales (2017) episode “Quack Pack” and I couldn’t help but see the parallels between Donald and Maruki and even some of the other characters. When Donald says, “No one gets hurt, or captured, or lost,” Della picks up on his sadness. Because Donald lost his twin, and he got her back, but ten years went by.

There were some lines from the episode “Quack Pack” that I couldn’t resist using for the parody unchanged, like “This is a poorly conceived storyline!”

Anyway, I hope you enjoy _Persona Pals._

I also didn’t feel like typing “canned laughter” after every joke, so just imagine a laugh track and you should be golden! Wait, wrong Persona game…

One more thing: there is flatulence humor in this.

Background for the TV show:

Morgana is fully human, though shorter than the other boys. His voice is the same as the one as his human form in the original game. The setting of _Persona Pals_ is a large apartment building. Haru and her father live on the top floor, which is essentially a lavish penthouse suite rather than the Okumura estate. Kunikazu is nice like he was in Maruki’s cognition, but he’s a penny pincher. Leblanc is located on the ground floor and open to the public. Sojiro lives with Futaba in one of the apartments, Maruki lives in another, and the kids share the remaining apartments two to a room. The apartment is one of those old buildings where everything is breaking down. Makoto and Sae’s Dad, Mr. Niijima, is still alive. However, he has taken a prestigious position at Interpol and spends most of his time in Europe. He’s left Makoto in Sae’s care, but Sae is less of a workaholic. Wakaba Isshiki and Sojiro were married at one point but are divorced now and Futaba lives with her “father.” And sadly, Sumire is still pretending to be Kasumi, so she is called Kasumi in the text. The heroes can summon their Personae in the real world, but they don’t travel to the cognitive world. The Personae summoning leads to wacky hijinks, usually when Futaba uses hers to spy on people.

[Voiceover]

 _Persona Pals_ was taped in front of a live studio audience.

The bottom of the scene reads: _Created by Adam Kadmon_

[Cold open, Sojiro’s apartment]

Sojiro: For the last time, Futaba. You can’t charge people to watch Kasumi eat her lunch over the webcam! Even if she does eat enough to feed a family of four…

Futaba: But Sojiro! The spectacle! Think of the clicks! (Sojiro ponders this a moment)_

Sojiro: (snapping back to attention) No.

Futaba: (sighs) Guess it’s back to posting mp3s of your singing in the shower. 

Sojiro: Wait, what?!

[Opening sequence]

Peppy music plays while images of the characters are displayed with their names.

Akira! Akechi! (Akira and Akechi are playing chess)

Yusuke! Ryuji! Morgana! (Yusuke is painting, Ryuji runs in and accidentally knocks over his easel, and Morgana face palms)

Makoto! Ann! (Ann and Makoto lean back to back)

Haru! Futaba! (Futaba flashes a peace sign while Haru makes a heart with her hands)

Introducing Kasumi! (Kasumi bashfully looks at the camera)

A final shot is of the whole group seated together on the balcony of the apartment building.

“Pool Party!”

(The main lobby of the apartment complex. Enter Haru, Ann, and Makoto.)

Makoto: I sent the boys to check the chlorine levels and temperature of the pool, I’ve checked the weather forecast, and I’ve written the party schedule. (sighs) I hope nothing goes wrong, unlike the last time. (She holds up her cell phone)

(The phone is now displaying a photo of Natsuhiko Nakanohara singing into a microphone while a karaoke machine displays the lyrics to “Light the Fire in the Night” and everyone else is covering their ears.)

Haru: That party crasher was pretty nice once we got to know him. I think he was just lonely.

Makoto: Or the time before that, when those pranksters from Kosei caused Akira to strip naked, streak across the Shujin campus, and cram as many Personae as he could summon into a phone booth (holds out her phone, which shows a photo of Lavenza looking quizzically at a phone booth stuffed full of Personae from the game up to and including Mara)

Futaba: I think he did max out his proficiency with that Persona Tetris.

Makoto: I still owe Ohya for keeping that story out of the papers. And Chief Kurosawa for not pressing indecency charges. And Kosei’s principal for quietly expelling the perpetrators…

Haru: I’m sure it will be fine. What could go wrong?

Ann: (gasp!)

Haru: What’s wrong?

Ann: You never say that phrase! Haven’t you ever watched a TV show?

Haru: No, but my father took me to plenty of operas when I was young.

Ann: Doesn’t everything go wrong in those? Like Gotterdammerung? That is such a mouthful. They should just call it “All the Really Bad Stuff Happens.”

[The pool just outside the apartment complex. Enter Ryuji, Akira, Yusuke, Morgana, Mishima and Akechi in swimwear. Akechi’s swimsuit is an old fashioned one that is somehow less skintight than his “dark” outfit but retains the same color scheme and pattern. Mishima is wearing navy blue swim trunks and a gray swim tee with a print of white chevrons. Yusuke is eating beans from an open can]

Ryuji: Dude, Yusuke. No more beans, please.

Yusuke: I am the one partaking of them.

Ryuji: Yeah, but I’m your roommate. And I have to live with the fumes. I’m going to die of methane poisoning!

Akechi: Don’t tell him that.

Ryuji: Why not?

Akechi: Because if his roommate passes away, he gets straight As for the semester.

Ryuji: Meh, he’s an honor student. Aren’t you, Yusuke?

Yusuke: …

Ryuji: You’re failing everything except art, aren’t you?

Yusuke: I’m getting an A in PE.

Ryuji: I’m sure Futaba could hack into Kosei’s database and change your grades.

Yusuke: Oh, don’t tell me…?

Ryuji: I’m technically failing half my classes, but Futaba gave me all B’s.

Akechi: Why not just go all the way and give yourself straight A’s?

Morgana: Don’t give him any ideas.

Ryuji: Hey, who’s ready to jump into the pool?! (runs to the edge) Last one in is an alligator! (he jumps in, then climbs out in horror) _First_ one in was an alligator!

(An alligator climbs of the pool and walks up to Yusuke, who strokes his nose)

Yusuke: Good morning to you, Matisse.

Akira: “Matisse”?

Yusuke: I saw him in the window of the pet shop and I was entranced, so I spent the last of my money on him.

Ryuji: Yusuke, you barely have enough money to feed yourself! How are you going to feed this little guy?

Akechi: You could always feed him Mishima. What? It’s not like anyone will miss him.

Mishima: (sniffle…)

Morgana: (to Mishima) You’re just going to take that?

Mishima: I have no good counter to that.

Akira: Here’s one. Hey, first one to dunk Akechi in the pool and get his hair wet gets first dibs on the pizza tonight. (Lucifer himself lights up in the eyes of the others, and we cut away as Akechi starts shrieking)

[Lounge]

(We open to Sojiro and Maruki seated in recliners in the lounge)

Sojiro: (is listening on his cell phone) (frown!) (hangs up)

Maruki: Let me guess. The landlord?

Sojiro: Kunikazu’s on my case again about expenses. He tells me if I keep importing the rarest coffee beans, my living arrangements are soon going to be a step down. I live in this crappy building with you, him, and a bunch of teenagers. What’s the step down?!

(Enter Kunikazu)

Kunikazu: Sojiro, Takuto! This is an emergency! The building inspector is coming tomorrow and my study looks horrendous! If you help me fix it, I’ll make it worth your while.

Sojiro: Make the kids do it.

Kunikazu: But they’re having their party tonight, and Haru was so excited. I couldn’t bear to ruin it for her.

Sojiro: Ugh, ‘Kazu. You spoil that girl.

Maruki: (coughs) Glass houses.

Sojiro: (coughs back) Who asked you? (Sojiro turns back to Kunikazu)

Sojiro: How much do you think we can fix on such short notice? Tell me straight. How much of the study have you actually fixed?!

(We cut to the three men in the study. The study is quite obviously in poor repair)

(a light fixture falls from the ceiling, nearly impaling the group)

Sojiro: How could you let it get like this?!

Kunikazu: The first repairman wanted to charge too much, and the more I waited, the worse it got, and the higher the estimate got…!

Sojiro: You’re fulfilling every cherished stereotype of the greedy businessman right now.

Kunikazu: (sigh, removes his glasses and rubs his temples wearily)

Sojiro: You said the repair estimates are too high, but I don’t think we can fix this...

(The pool. Makoto, Haru, Ann, and Futaba have joined the boys)

Kasumi: (enters, in a flashy one piece red swimsuit with black trim. She’s also wearing red flip flops. Her bright red bow is in her hair) I’ve called in the lifeguard. He should be here in five minutes. Does someone want to buzz him in?

Futaba: I’ll do it. (peers at Kasumi as she adjusts her glasses) Are you okay? You have bags under your eyes.

Kasumi: Oh, I’m just a little nervous. There’s been reports of a dangerous burglar breaking into buildings in the area…

Futaba: I could set some _Home Alone_ -style booby traps.

Kasumi: Oh, that really isn’t necessary. Especially after what happened the last time.

Futaba: Aww, that salesman only threatened to sue. But okay. Let me know if you change your mind. (she hums as she goes toward the front of the apartment. There is buzzing. She lets the guest in. He is a buff young man, dressed as a lifeguard.)

Lifeguard: Greetings. I was hired to be the lifeguard for a pool party. May I come in?

Futaba: Sure. (discreetly summons the Necronomicon and scans the lifeguard) What? This reading…?!

Lifeguard: Is that a UFO?

Futaba: (quietly) He must be the burglar.

Lifeguard: I’m sorry.

Futaba: (sinisterly) You will be. (normal) I mean, right through here… (screen goes black amid thudding sounds)

(Back to the study. Kunikazu and Sojiro are desperately trying to fix the room, which now looks even worse with their slapdash repair work)

Sojiro: Hey, Takuto. Keep an eye on the door. Let us know if any of the kids are coming!

(Enter Akira and Akechi)

Maruki: Kids are coming.

Akira: I was about to ask you guys if you wanted us to order some pizza for you. But you obviously have bigger problems. (roar of laughter)

Akechi: (picks up a book titled _Japan Building Codes_ ) A for good intentions, but a D in effort. (more laughter)

Akira: That’s an odd laugh.

Akechi: (looks quizzically at him) I didn’t laugh.

Akira: Then what was that laughter? (looks around) (upbeat music plays) Where is that music coming from? (lights fade out) Why are the lights fading?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

(We see Futaba against a white background. She holds a remote while neon green energy swirls around her. More green energy beams out of the remote and forms a logo reading Atlus Network)

Announcer: And now, back to _Persona Pals!_

Akira: What is going on here? The lights went out, then Futaba did some sort of pose…what is _Persona Pals_?!

Maruki: (coughs nervously)

Kunikazu: I don’t have time for your foolishness. You’re already on thin ice for that streaking.

Akechi: In his defense, the spiked punch he drank was meant for Ryuji Sakamoto. Those Kosei saboteurs were trying to make the track team ill since their team was no match for Shujin’s…

Kunikazu: But what is he going on about now?!

Akira: I’m talking about how we’re trapped in a mystical prison that’s constantly laughing at us. And somehow I remember you cosplaying as Darth Vader?

Kunikazu: Darth Vader?! I do enjoy the _Star Wars_ movies, but…

Akira: I don’t know…it feels like a distant memory…

Maruki: I think you’re just stressed out. Did Makoto push too much pressure on you planning this party? She’s a sweetheart, but she does tend to micromanage…

Akira: I am stressed because the veil of reality is disintegrating and you three are completely oblivious!

Kunikazu: (no longer paying attention to the conversation) Can one of you read Section 3, Subsection A, Paragraph 5?

Akira: (sigh) Case in point.

Akechi: (opens the book) Wait, why are all the pages blank?

Kunikazu: Maybe they revised the codes when we weren’t looking?

Sojiro: As in, completely repealed them? I seriously doubt that.

Akechi: Hmm. I have a hypothesis.

Akira: Ack! (points to something in his peripheral vision) Who are those little guys?

Sojiro: What ‘little guys’?

Akira: Is that Pyro Jack and Jack Frost? Is this…an ad? For a TV show called _Jack Bros Adventures…_? 

Akechi: (looking at the blank book) Blank, because it’s a prop. (peeks at a hole in the wall and sticks his hand) No pipes, no insulation. This isn’t real.

Akira: A set…?!

Both: We’re on a TV show!

Sojiro: OK, there is definitely something in the air. You’re both talking crazy. Let’s back away. It might be contagious. 

Kunikazu: I figured if any of them would crack, it’d be that oddball artist.

Akechi: Then riddle me this. In all this time fixing the room, did you notice it has only three walls?

Kunikazu: Pfft! Don’t be daft, child. Of course there’s a fourth wall!

Akira: (smirking) Oh, really? Have you actually looked at it?!

(Kunikazu and Sojiro look into the “camera” briefly before we see an audience of shadowy figures similar to the audience in _Persona 4: Dancing All Night._ )

Sojiro: That…is a little odd.

Kunikazu: (opens the door, revealing just inky blackness) …!

Sojiro: Are we trapped?!

Akira: Wait, canned laughter. Sitcom logic…we just need some amusing hijinks.

Maruki: Um, let’s not be too hasty (jumps at Sojiro holding the same chainsaw used to complete fusions in the Velvet Room when the guillotines get stuck)

Sojiro: On it! (yanks the cord)

(Akechi grabs a hand saw and starts slicing through the floor while Akira swings a hammer. Maruki is now looking quite distressed…)

(The basement. The lifeguard is tied to a chair)

Futaba: You’re casing the joint. I know what you really are.

Lifeguard: Um, it’s not what you think!

Futaba: Just admit it, you burglar!

Lifeguard: Phew…wait. I mean…burglar? No, I’m just the lifeguard.

(There’s a series of crashes and suddenly Akechi, Maruki, Kunikazu, Sojiro, and Akira land on the floor covered in dirt and debris.)

Ryuji: (running in, followed by the others) What the hell was that?!

Maruki: We just fell through the floors…three times. So if anyone starts talking oddly, they have a concussion…(nervous laughter)

Akira: Forget potential brain injuries! We’re apparently trapped in a TV show!

(the other teenagers look to each other and back at Akira)

Morgana: Um, are you feeling all right?

Akechi: I wish this was a poor taste joke, but doesn’t something seem off?

Akira: We need to figure out what happened this morning.

Maruki: Oh, that’s easy. Ann and Kasumi were trying to replicate Ann’s aunt’s candy recipe and that led to a giant explosion. Half the neighborhood was covered in candy.

Akira: Not what happened in the last episode! How did we get here?! Does anyone remember anything? (everyone shakes their heads)

Ann: If only we could remember. (musical cue, followed by purple smoke)

Akira: Ann, you’re a genius. We just need a flashback. Everyone, tilt your head to the left and gently stroke your chins.

Maruki: Um, on second thought, maybe we should get back to the plot. Er, this whole mess.

(Everyone ignores him and follows Akira’s advice. The purple smoke covers the screen, blurring the image. The image clears. We see the attic at Leblanc. Akira, Ann, Ryuji, Haru Yusuke, Futaba and Makoto are seated in a small circle. Dr. Maruki is also seated with them, holding a clipboard. Morgana is clearly poking out of Akira’s bag, which is under his chair.)

Makoto: Thank you once again for agreeing to do this, Dr. Maruki.

Maruki: It’s no problem. You’re under an undue amount of stress and I want to help you. A house call is the least I can do.

Ann: And this is completely confidential, right?

Maruki: Of course. Yes. I won’t be recording this session for obvious reasons but let me make some notes. (narrating to himself) November 27…

Makoto: Not to be paranoid, but what if you lose your notes?

Akira: Have you seen his handwriting?

Makoto: Reading doctor’s handwriting is hard, but it can be done. (Maruki shows her the clipboard) What in the world…?! Are these Egyptian hieroglyphics?! OK, question withdrawn.

Maruki: Who would like to start?

Ryuji: I know we’ve secured a route to the treasure, but it seems like things are getting worse by the day. People are acting like Shido is some sort of rock star. It’s so creepy…

Akira: I was thinking…maybe we should hold a funeral for Akechi. I mean, after we send the calling card.

Ryuji: But we have nothing to bury. (sigh) I know you want to save everyone, but still. Don’t forget he tried to put a bullet in your head. And meant it!

Haru: While Akechi-kun did murder my father, I don’t feel right not giving him a proper burial. And maybe his spirit could be put to rest. I know I felt at least a little better after we laid Father down.

Ann: Ryuji, maybe you need to rein it in a little.

Makoto: Still, I think Ryuji needs to get his feelings out too. This is a space for us to clear the air.

Ann: I don’t love the funeral idea, but he doesn’t exactly have any other relatives. Except Shido, who isn’t going to be in a position to hold one after the change of heart. 

(sniffling sounds. Everyone turns to look at Maruki, who has removed his glasses)

Maruki: You should not have had to witness that. (sigh)

Ann: Dr. Maruki? Are you okay?

Maruki: I apologize. I’m your therapist, but even I’m having trouble fathoming this event. If only things could be different. I wish you children had normal teenage problems!

(Loud popping sound)

(Adam Kadmon appears above Maruki)

Adam Kadmon: Your wish shall be granted. I am thou, thou art I. Now honor thy pact and materialize your desire!

(Cut back to everyone)

Maruki: (sighs) I guess the jig is up. 

Ryuji: Doc, you wished for this?!

Maruki: I’ve wished for this ever since I’ve first heard all of your tragic life circumstances! Or even before that, when my girlfriend’s parents were murdered by some psychopath and she went into a catatonic state from the trauma! How was I supposed to know _this time_ my Persona would wake up?

Futaba: Wait. That Persona from the flashback looked awfully familiar. (The lifeguard is trying to scootch the chair toward the nearest door) Where do you think you’re going, lifeguard? Or should I say, burglar? Or should I say, PERSONA?!

Adam Kadmon: OK, OK, you got me. (his human form morphs back into the form we saw in the game. He teleports out of the chair and floats in front of Maruki) 

Adam Kadmon: The name’s Adam Kadmon. Nice to meet the patients my master holds so dear.

Akechi: The same patients you’ve imprisoned in a living hell. I still have chlorine in my hair!

Adam Kadmon: I’ll just chalk that grumpiness up to the revival process. I am no jailer. I am just a humble Persona carrying out my master’s wish for a perfect world!

Morgana: This is your idea of a perfect world?! How long have you been in the sea of souls?

Adam Kadmon: Ages. The long ago year of 1990!

Ann: (grabs Adam by the chest and puts her face to his) Send us home right now, Mister Kadmon!

Adam Kadmon: This is just a wacky mix up, which to be fair, usually makes for good TV, am I right? (Makoto puts on her brass knuckles and takes an attack stance) Eep! Sorry, I can’t help you. Only my master can help you. This is his cognition, you know. Think of this as like a dream. When he wakes up, everything will go back to the way it was.

(Awkward silence. Everyone looks to Maruki, who shifts uncomfortably under their gaze. Akechi is the most clearly angry, clenching his fists at his sides)

Akechi: You’ve been able to end this farce _this entire time_?!

Maruki: You do realize that if I do end this “farce,” you’ll…

Akechi: After having to endure playing house with Kurusu and his insipid pals, that would be a relief.

Maruki: Come on, kids. It’s not so bad here, is it? Silly problems, comforting music, everything getting resolved nicely in the end with no one getting hurt, or arrested, or _killed_ …

Akira: But it’s not who we are. We’re the Phantom Thieves. We steal hearts, go on adventures, defy danger! That’s what makes us _us_.

Maruki: Well, maybe you kids should be more normal! If you want out, fine. I’ll be in my room ordering pizzas for your normal, awesome pool party! (exits, slams the door. Kasumi shrugs and follows him)

Makoto: OK, if Dr. Maruki won’t stop this cognition, how long will we be stuck here?

Adam Kadmon: Well, next episode Ryuji has three dates on the same night, then Morgana and Yusuke enter Matisse in a fancy, prestigious pet show. So I’m guessing three seasons, plus a spinoff, and nowadays reboots are very in.

Ryuji: So…basically, forever?

Adam Kadmon: Yeah, sorry about that.

Akechi: (sighs) Such a stubborn ignoramus.

Akira: Maybe if we tire him out. We need spiritual energy to summon our Personas, and even he must be feeling a drain changing the entire world. The mask is starting to wear thin. You’ve already managed to manifest your…ahem, baser instincts, Akechi.

Akechi: No need to keep up the pretense of a perfect Detective Prince.

Mishima: Maybe drop a few f-bombs? (Akechi looks coolly at him, Mishima winces) Don’t hurt me…

Morgana: OK, let’s think a moment. Maybe we shouldn’t be too hasty. I’m totally hot and everyone thinks I’m hilarious.

Akechi: Former fuzzball, this place is disgusting! That does it! If Maruki won’t listen, we’ll just have to make him listen.

Morgana: What? Have the girls cry and beg him to send us home? I mean, he is a guy, and guys can’t stand to see a girl cry.

Akechi: I think he’s immune from his counseling training.

Yusuke: Hire a marching band to play the one song in the world he can’t stand?

Ryuji: Lock him in a closet with Yusuke after he’s eaten a week’s worth of low-quality canned beans?

Ann: Hide Matisse in his bed? (Yusuke is stroking Matisse) By the way, Yusuke…why do you even have a pet alligator?!

Yusuke: (sigh) This is a poorly conceived storyline.

Adam Kadmon: (rolls eyes) Everyone’s a critic. 

Akira: OK, these ideas are getting silly.

Haru: Well, there is the saying ‘fight fire with fire.’

Mishima: So fight stupidity with stupidity?

Ryuji: Well, a wise comedian once said, “Sometimes the best way to deal with a madman is to send in another madman.”

Akechi: Or go with Occam’s Razor. The simplest solution. We’ll simply beat the shit out of Mr. Savior Complex. First things first, we’re going to need weapons…

Mishima: Weapons? Oh, geez. Couldn’t we just send a strongly worded letter?!

(Cut to Maruki’s apartment)

Maruki: I guess it’s just going to be you and me, Kasumi.

Kasumi: I think they’re just a little mad.

Maruki: I hate to call them brats, but how can they act so spoiled? I only want what’s best for their spiritual growth. That trauma is only going to multiply, bringing them more pain…

Kasumi: …

Maruki: Do you really want to return to the real world, Kasumi? Going back to being the little shrinking violet that everyone ignores?

Kasumi: Of course I hate that my sister died because of me. And I’ve always hated my name. But violets self-seed, coming back each year. Sometimes they grow back where you least expect them. So the little shrinking violet is going to wilt, but today a new violet will sprout. (reaches to her hairbow and pulls it loose) I’m happy that you wanted me to be happy. But I can’t keep using Kasumi’s identity as a crutch. I have to grow on my own. I can finally say it with pride. I am the proud Sumire Yoshizawa. And I am the violet who was very happy to have grown in your garden. (puts on her glasses) 

Maruki: Et tu, Sumire? (The door flies open, with the others wielding various weapons, including the chainsaw from earlier) What the…?! This escalated quickly! I mean, you sure you don’t want to try this reality for one more episode? Ryuji, the three dates?

Ryuji: Um, who are they?

Maruki: Hikari Shimizu, Yomeko Mogami and “Clara.”

Ryuji: The wannabe dominatrix, the cyberstalker, and…well, Clara’s working as a maid to pay her tuition but she’s a walking blooper reel. Hard pass…!

Maruki: Fine. (sigh) Persona…I wish to undo…

Haru: Wait! (she turns to Kunikazu, who is silent but gazes sadly at her) Father. I guess you aren’t really my father. More like what I wanted him to be. (she hugs him) But still, I’m glad the last time I see you isn’t that horrible sight…

Makoto: (opens her phone and looks at photos of her with a happy Sae and her still-living father) Let us have this.

Futaba: (takes out her phone, doubtlessly looking at her catalog of photos of Wakaba, then she sniffles and takes off her glasses to wipe a tear from her eye)

Akira: I have to admit. This was nice while it lasted, even with the creepy laugh track. It was fun to solve a mystery with my rival instead of us being Phantom Thieves together.

Sumire: It was a nice dream. But every dream ends. Cendrillon danced the night away, but the clock still struck midnight.

Yusuke: Parting is truly a sorrow.

(Everyone looks to Maruki, who nods)

Maruki: I wish that everything would return to the way it was before!

Adam Kadmon: Your wish is granted.

(Loud popping noise)

(Mementoes)

Morgana: (back in his cat-like form) Owww! (The Phantom Thieves minus Akechi are in a pile at the entrance of Mementoes)

Akira: OK, someone tell a joke.

Ryuji: A funny thing happened to us on the way to the Palace…

(nothing)

Akira: Ah! The sound of no one laughing never sounded so good!

Ryuji: Don’t cut me off…

Ann: If it’s dirty, I don’t want to hear it.

Adam Kadmon’s voice: Best! Episode! Ever!

(Something falls and bonks Akira on the head. He rubs his head and picks up the object. A DVD case)

Akira: _Persona Pals: The Complete Series…_? (yells to the air) Little passive-aggressive, aren’t you, Doctor?! (no answer) Figures…

Futaba: Too bad we can’t post this on YourTube. I bet we would have gotten lots of likes.

Yusuke: Maybe we should watch it. Do you suppose they pixelated Akira’s streaking?

Akira: …

Yusuke: You won’t model nude for me…perhaps I could get some inspiration from…

Akira: Yusuke, for the love of the art gods, please stop talking…

Futaba: Would he be Inari if he didn’t spend so much time drawing naked people?!

Yusuke: Anatomy studies are not just ‘drawing naked people…’

Futaba: And naming that alligator Matisse. Matisse is _so_ overrated!

Yusuke: What…?! _How dare you?!_

(Futaba jumps up and runs. Yusuke scrambles after her, followed by an iris out)

THE END

It is my headcanon that Yusuke is a huge fan of Henri Matisse, to the point that you better not badmouth him in the Metaverse. 


End file.
